|
Williams Heavy Industries Purchases Bretton Woods Mountain Resort |
 |
 |
 |
|
Written by Winston Barker
|
|
Thursday, 04 February 2010 08:41 |
|
Williams Heavy Industries (WHI) is proud to announce the purchase of Bretton Woods Mountain Resort in northern New Hampshire. "We closed on this property in the nick of time" said WHI C.E.O. Perry S. Williams. "Omni Corporation (the former owner of Bretton Woods) was harassing my employes, who were simply skiing and bicycle riding on the Bretton Woods property; so I decided to buy the entire resort."
The purchase includes the Bretton Woods Grand Hotel, the Alpine and Nordic Ski Areas and various residential holdings. When asked about future plans for the resort, Mr. Williams replied, "We plan on demolishing the Grand Hotel and building a Chemical Processing Facility on the site. That's where the money is these days." When asked if the project would help the Twin Mountain Tax Rate and bring money into the local economy, Williams Replied,"No."
|
|
Last Updated on Monday, 16 August 2010 22:11 |
|
|
Remembrances for Stud Hike Victims |
|
|
|
|
Written by Baron von Wolfenberger, Managing Director
|
|
Friday, 30 October 2009 07:43 |
|
The usual remembrances will be held this week for those brave employees who have fallen at this year's WHI Northeastern wilderness retreat known as 'Stud Hike'. Rather than running obituaries in the company newsletter, we at WHI have always believed that it is much more illuminating to run copies of the victims' most recent Employee Performance Reviews. The reviews will appear just as soon at the various personel directors can get them to us - which we're certain won't take long (remember it's only 362 days until next year's Stud Hike). In lieu of flowers, fellow employees are asked to work late this week in memory of these heroic co-workers. |
|
Last Updated on Saturday, 07 November 2009 10:37 |
|
New Round of Promotions at WHI |
|
|
|
|
Written by Baron von Wolfenberger, Managing Director
|
|
Wednesday, 28 October 2009 23:01 |
|
WHI is happy to announce a series of promotions to fill the managment vacancies left after last weekend's WHI Northeastern wilderness retreat (aka 'Stud Hike') once again left many middle managers dead from unexplained rifle wounds. |
|
Last Updated on Saturday, 07 November 2009 12:09 |
|
James "Jim" Mall assumes WHI Director of Finance Role |
|
|
|
|
Written by Perry Williams
|
|
Wednesday, 28 October 2009 22:52 |
|
Mr. Mall began with Williams Heavy Industries in 1986, quickly working his way up the corporate ladder. His skill in manipulating markets in the Saving & Loan debacle, earned over 55 billion dollars during WHI Fiscal Year 1987. Mr. Mall's successful partnerships with high profile financiers Michael Milken and Bernie Madoff has solidified Williams Heavy Industries financial dominance of world Markets.
Mr. Mall at the Williams Heavy Industries Northeastern Retreat in Northern New Hampshire (WHI-2009)
|
|
Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 October 2009 23:27 |
|
|
WHI announces the promotion of Mr. James Bird |
|
|
|
|
Written by Baron von Wolfenberger, Managing Director
|
|
Tuesday, 27 October 2009 00:00 |
|
WHI is proud to announce the promotion of James "Jim" Bird to Senior Vice President of our Toxic & Nuclear Waste Disposal Division. Mr. Bird has repeatedly demonstrated the ability to get the job done in squelching any opposition by Grass Roots Anti-Pollution Groups in several of the major Williams Heavy Industries accidents. Not since the union-busting glory days of the Pinkerton's have we seen corporate protection this effective.
Mr. Bird’s skillful manipulation of the media at Three Mile Island; his use of Strong-Arm Tactics at Chernobyl and his skill at putting our adversaries against one another at Bhopal has saved Williams Heavy Industries billions in damages in these three incidents alone!
Mr. Bird at the Williams Heavy Industries Northeastern Retreat in Northern New Hampshire (WHI-2009) |
|
Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 October 2009 23:23 |
|
Happy Birthday Mr. Williams (Jr.) |
|
|
|
|
Written by Baron von Wolfenberger, Managing Director
|
|
Wednesday, 21 October 2009 00:00 |
|
Pericles Augustus Walker Williams ("Perry Jr."), eldest son of WHI CEO Pericles Augustus Williams and patrilineal heir to the Williams fortune by way of his paternal grandfather Cornelius Williams II, celebrated his 50th birthday on same day as his father's 76th birthday, October 3. Though neither man was actually born in October, this date is in keeping with WHI tradition. The junior Mr. Williams, who has been groomed his entire life to take his father's place, has eagerly prepared himself to assume the mantle as head of WHI by attending countless boarding schools and no less than nine different Universities and now, in his 50th year, is well on his way to attaining an assocites degree in a discipline that is yet to be determined provided that he can transfer most of his credits from Cancun Tech. Mr. Williams (Jr.), pictured here diligently working last year during a summer internship as Chief Operations Officer at one of his father's nuclear power facilities, is believed to have likely celebrated this milestone somewhere in the Caribbean or possibly Columbia and has since been unavailable.
|
|
Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 October 2009 23:29 |
|
Happy Birthday Mr. Williams (Sr.) |
|
|
|
|
Written by Baron von Wolfenberger, Managing Director
|
|
Tuesday, 20 October 2009 00:00 |
|
Pericles Augustus "Perry" Williams, President/CEO and Chairman of the Board of Williams Heavy Industries, celebrated his 76th birthday on October 3, 2009. All WHI employees the world over joined in formally wishing the dear leader a most happy birthday. Mr. Williams, always a man of the people, "warmly received his employees' obligatory gifts and salutations while at his private alpine retreat in a location which shall remain undisclosed" according to a statement released by one of his attorneys. |
|
Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 October 2009 23:28 |
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
|
|
Page 1 of 2 |
WHI News